Anything, Anything

My college internship at a local alt-rock radio station was the worst for three reasons:

A) I had to get up too early

2) I learned nothing about radio production

And D) I got "fired".

(PS: If you instantly know and appreciate the movie reference in my alphabetical/numerical list, we should probably be best friends).

A husky-voiced Theta-something sister, a benevolent stoner and myself were the three interns who imagined we would be taken under the wings of a trio of morning hosts.

Operating switchboards, taking calls, picking playlists and coming up with zany show ideas was our picture of the dream internship.

Instead, we were told to sit on the studio's worn, black leather sofa, read trashy tabloids and basically be the laugh track to the hosts' horrible jokes.

The station played Dramarama's "Anything, Anything (I'll Give You)" a copious, if not unhealthy number of times. 

I get it. The post-punk melody is catchy and Easdale's angst is so relatable. It even made the soundtrack to one of the "Nightmare on Elm Street" films. (I dunno which one, just not the Johnny Depp one).

About halfway through the internship I ran into the one female host at the movie theater while on a date. 

"Oh my God, did you hear the show this morning?" -Girl Host

"No, it was my morning off... why?"-Me

"The guys fired all you interns over the air! It was soooo funny!"-Girl Host

"Seriously? What, why?"-Me choking back tears.

"You guys never did anything...and I don't think you laughed at their jokes enough."-Girl Host

"Does that mean I'm not going to get my credits?" -Me thinking this will ruin my spotless school record

"We'll give you the class credit for it, they just don't want you to come back."-Girl Host.

My straight-A, people-pleasing heart could barely stand it.

Like Easdale lamented:

"Is something wrong with me, something wrong with you?

I really wish I knew, wish I knew, wish I knew..."

It was the lesson I never knew I needed... you probably know it too:

"You can be the ripest, juiciest peach in the world and there's still going to be somebody who hates peaches."

Just like that, I put that lesson, and a love for Dramarama in my back pocket.

That morning show got canned a few years later, so I dunno if they ever found anyone to laugh at their jokes.